Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
