if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
