When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
