You're so nebulous sometimes
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
