and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
