I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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