As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
