tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
only you would photoshop your dick
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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