so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Someone came in the potted fern
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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