Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
