it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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