Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
They have beer where we have blood.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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