I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
