You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
pray to the hookup gods
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
