just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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