So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
