Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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