the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
