The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
