Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
