meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
