Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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