you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
