Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
