no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
