I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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