you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
