i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
