Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this beer tastes like vomit already
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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