I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
