Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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