Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
bring money and cleavage
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
