oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
