I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
