JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
