So drunk its hurt
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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