That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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