hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
