Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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