He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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