this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
