drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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