Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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