I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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