I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
