After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
