he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
