so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ketchup is God's man juice
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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