he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
