Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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