I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
