So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
