did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You can't just leave with hair like that
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
